The Ass Vs. Face Dilemma

"A 30-year-old woman must choose between her bottom and her face," Catherine Deneuve famously declared.  You've heard it before: After a certain age, you have to make a choice between your—ahem—derrière and your visage. Basically, the "theory" assumes the tighter and firmer the former gets, the saggier and sadder the latter. Unfortunately, at not even q…