I tried to age naturally for 18 months and it ended in mild emotional collapse. So when Kate Winslet calls cosmetic work ‘terrifying,’ my 47-year-old face has some notes for her.
I think everyone can choose for themselves what they are willing to do for their physical appearance, but the point in your article I struggle with is comparing it to hormone therapy as if it is the same thing. Hormonal health impacts every organ and cell in our bodies. It is essential to health - it is not about beauty. While it affects mental well being and sexual drive, those are tied to actual hormonal needs and balancing required to be healthy, to create seratonin, dopamine, to manage cortisol, to prevent disease including autoimmune disease being triggered. These are simply not the same as doing Botox or plastic surgery.
I really hate that women focus so much on their looks that they feel like they have to do anything. I’m in my 50s, was once a beauty and am more happy than ever now that my looks aren’t an issue for anyone. Aging is a blessing. The only person limiting you from aging without enhancement is not society or men - it’s you. Simply don’t GAF, it’s that easy.
Clearly all the folks you mentioned have the resources to use to sustain the unrealistic image that makes them marketable. The trainers and expensive creams and treatments etc. But for many of us, who cannot afford so much of the luxuries they have access to, “natural” aging is not a choice between whether to do it or not. It’s a reality of how our resources go for more basic needs like food and healthcare. I’m really sorry you’re having to be wrinkly. Welcome to my world!
I also think you can do whatever you want with your own face/body, but thinking someone in their late 40s is brave for not doing anything? Well, wait until your 60s and we'll talk about brave. My bigger concern is the removal of individuality and color a.k.a. Kardashian-washing of every influencer person I see on social media, and the poor young girls who are scraping together money just so they can look like everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I like a good neutral outfit, but trying to make yourself look like a naked Barbie doll for attention makes me wonder if there are any books on their shelves at home. *sigh*
I relate most to commenters Marsha and Beedot. Although we all chose to look our best regardless of our years, cosmetic surgeries and Botox are not reality for most women. I am 71 and have done none of the above. Looking at photos from the twenties does make me a bit nostalgic, however, I do not understand the willingness to take health risks to ensure a more youthful appearance. The young years were a phase of life I would not relive. I chose to live with the current me just as I did then! I’m happy for those of you who feel better to do these things. It’s just not for me.
Kate is just an actor with an opinion. You know what they say about opinions! Maybe she's afraid of needles. Cosmetic procedures do not define your feminism. I would happily go to war against the patriarchy with you. You got rid of the husband who forbade you from having Botox. You are indeed a cool feminist. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Yes yes yes! I am so thankful that someone else felt the sting of Kate. I have always loved her too and felt quite honestly betrayed. And angry!
This culture seeps down from the top and while I am happy to see the change in many famous women- us little women saving up our birthday and Christmas money to get 40 units is hardly the problem. We are a product of it. We feel the pressure down her too!
And also- I am a little bit happier to look in the mirror when my face is not dropping down to the floor. Plus I have Tourette’s and it helps my tics- which was only a side discovery and not my original reason admittedly!
I love to get my nails and toes done and my hair too. I like that at 49 in my second half of life I look better than I did at 35 when I was mid parenting and looked like a I was on an all night bender every day from lack of sleep and self care.
And Kate, you going to tell me you’re not going in for $1000 facials and have $1000 creams and potions -at a minimum.
Plus high end gyms and trainers and saunas and god knows what else to mitigate your stress!
Do we commoners angst over all of these things? Do we give into the worlds view on what looks beautiful- of course - we are human!! And we are getting mixed messages!
It is clear by the skin and bones, facelift, Botox overdose crowd and the Pam Anderson no make up crowd that there is a wiiiiide range of confusion and conviction on what is right. But we are all figuring what is right for us. That’s where we are at and stop shaming everybody.
In conclusion-Kate that was a bullshit thing for you to say and not at all fair.
But I still love you and will still watch titanic every year for Christmas!
Who did Charlize's facelift? I never considered a facelift until this past year at age 67. Genetic Heart disease puts me at high risk. I only started baby dysport at 63. I did the skin tightening treatments since my early 50s. I never thought i would want a facelift as I always had a full face. But here I am. I will consult with the surgeon you mentioned in Bev Hills.
Hi Jody! Thanks so much for your comment. I’m totally just speculating about Charlize — she looks insanely gorgeous, not a wrinkle or a single line in sight. It just feels hard to believe there hasn’t been some surgical help along the way. Either way, she looks incredible!!
I think everyone can choose for themselves what they are willing to do for their physical appearance, but the point in your article I struggle with is comparing it to hormone therapy as if it is the same thing. Hormonal health impacts every organ and cell in our bodies. It is essential to health - it is not about beauty. While it affects mental well being and sexual drive, those are tied to actual hormonal needs and balancing required to be healthy, to create seratonin, dopamine, to manage cortisol, to prevent disease including autoimmune disease being triggered. These are simply not the same as doing Botox or plastic surgery.
You put into words what I was struggling to comment. HRT is a world away from getting a facelift.
THIS: “I hate getting judged by beauty writers that are 30 years old.”
I really hate that women focus so much on their looks that they feel like they have to do anything. I’m in my 50s, was once a beauty and am more happy than ever now that my looks aren’t an issue for anyone. Aging is a blessing. The only person limiting you from aging without enhancement is not society or men - it’s you. Simply don’t GAF, it’s that easy.
Clearly all the folks you mentioned have the resources to use to sustain the unrealistic image that makes them marketable. The trainers and expensive creams and treatments etc. But for many of us, who cannot afford so much of the luxuries they have access to, “natural” aging is not a choice between whether to do it or not. It’s a reality of how our resources go for more basic needs like food and healthcare. I’m really sorry you’re having to be wrinkly. Welcome to my world!
I also think you can do whatever you want with your own face/body, but thinking someone in their late 40s is brave for not doing anything? Well, wait until your 60s and we'll talk about brave. My bigger concern is the removal of individuality and color a.k.a. Kardashian-washing of every influencer person I see on social media, and the poor young girls who are scraping together money just so they can look like everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I like a good neutral outfit, but trying to make yourself look like a naked Barbie doll for attention makes me wonder if there are any books on their shelves at home. *sigh*
I relate most to commenters Marsha and Beedot. Although we all chose to look our best regardless of our years, cosmetic surgeries and Botox are not reality for most women. I am 71 and have done none of the above. Looking at photos from the twenties does make me a bit nostalgic, however, I do not understand the willingness to take health risks to ensure a more youthful appearance. The young years were a phase of life I would not relive. I chose to live with the current me just as I did then! I’m happy for those of you who feel better to do these things. It’s just not for me.
Kate is just an actor with an opinion. You know what they say about opinions! Maybe she's afraid of needles. Cosmetic procedures do not define your feminism. I would happily go to war against the patriarchy with you. You got rid of the husband who forbade you from having Botox. You are indeed a cool feminist. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Yes yes yes! I am so thankful that someone else felt the sting of Kate. I have always loved her too and felt quite honestly betrayed. And angry!
This culture seeps down from the top and while I am happy to see the change in many famous women- us little women saving up our birthday and Christmas money to get 40 units is hardly the problem. We are a product of it. We feel the pressure down her too!
And also- I am a little bit happier to look in the mirror when my face is not dropping down to the floor. Plus I have Tourette’s and it helps my tics- which was only a side discovery and not my original reason admittedly!
I love to get my nails and toes done and my hair too. I like that at 49 in my second half of life I look better than I did at 35 when I was mid parenting and looked like a I was on an all night bender every day from lack of sleep and self care.
And Kate, you going to tell me you’re not going in for $1000 facials and have $1000 creams and potions -at a minimum.
Plus high end gyms and trainers and saunas and god knows what else to mitigate your stress!
Do we commoners angst over all of these things? Do we give into the worlds view on what looks beautiful- of course - we are human!! And we are getting mixed messages!
It is clear by the skin and bones, facelift, Botox overdose crowd and the Pam Anderson no make up crowd that there is a wiiiiide range of confusion and conviction on what is right. But we are all figuring what is right for us. That’s where we are at and stop shaming everybody.
In conclusion-Kate that was a bullshit thing for you to say and not at all fair.
But I still love you and will still watch titanic every year for Christmas!
Thanks Jolene! Great article!
Who did Charlize's facelift? I never considered a facelift until this past year at age 67. Genetic Heart disease puts me at high risk. I only started baby dysport at 63. I did the skin tightening treatments since my early 50s. I never thought i would want a facelift as I always had a full face. But here I am. I will consult with the surgeon you mentioned in Bev Hills.
Hi Jody! Thanks so much for your comment. I’m totally just speculating about Charlize — she looks insanely gorgeous, not a wrinkle or a single line in sight. It just feels hard to believe there hasn’t been some surgical help along the way. Either way, she looks incredible!!