I absolutely adore everything you have shared here and I appreciate how difficult it may have been to say all of this out loud. I am somebody who definitely left my inner world undiscovered while trying to help everyone around me, fulfill their greater potential & needs. When I finally stopped at the age of 40 to ask myself what I had kept just for me it was all new territory.
I agree with you regarding wanting that feeling of alignment. Ironically the one drawback I think I might feel if I have surgery is maybe looking too young. I like not being as ‘seen’ now at 59 and don’t want the attention of men (I don’t have the hormones to match for that need anymore lol) but yes I do want to feel good in my skin. I’m happily married and my husband doesn’t want me to do anything but after 7 years of caretaking him during cancer treatments I feel it’s taking a toll on my face and maybe I’m just chasing the ‘feeling’ of youth and while having the advantage of wisdom.
I think there’s a lot of context we have to look at to help us get down to the bottom of “who’s it for?”
For example someone that’s single + aging is probably going to be hyper aware + do what ever it takes to stay relevant in the dating pool.
What type of men are we trying to attract?
A guy that’s from LA and has learned by osmosis to scrutinize? Or are you in a smaller city or hell even in a rural area where your man doesn’t really care either way or even gets a little mad that you “ messed up the Mona Lisa” when you sneak away for Botox because he likes you just the way you are? (I suppose this sort of guy could also be in LA.)
Who are we trying to impress I think is a big question + why are we trying to impress them?
Do we even like the people we’re trying to impress?
Do we like who we are becoming when we are trying to impress them?
I think really knowing who we are as individuals outside of all of this can be so valuable.
There’s also the social capital that you mentioned of staying relevant in the city you’re living in-or even on socials. I work with so many women across the globe and by far my girls from LA have the hardest time with self scrutiny and disordered ways of viewing themselves because of the pressure they live in—something I do not envy having beaten eating disorders in my past.
I think it’s important to “know thy self” + step out of the bubble + figure out what’s true for us as an individual all other opinions aside. Such a good topic!
I absolutely adore everything you have shared here and I appreciate how difficult it may have been to say all of this out loud. I am somebody who definitely left my inner world undiscovered while trying to help everyone around me, fulfill their greater potential & needs. When I finally stopped at the age of 40 to ask myself what I had kept just for me it was all new territory.
Big ❤️!
I agree with you regarding wanting that feeling of alignment. Ironically the one drawback I think I might feel if I have surgery is maybe looking too young. I like not being as ‘seen’ now at 59 and don’t want the attention of men (I don’t have the hormones to match for that need anymore lol) but yes I do want to feel good in my skin. I’m happily married and my husband doesn’t want me to do anything but after 7 years of caretaking him during cancer treatments I feel it’s taking a toll on my face and maybe I’m just chasing the ‘feeling’ of youth and while having the advantage of wisdom.
I think there’s a lot of context we have to look at to help us get down to the bottom of “who’s it for?”
For example someone that’s single + aging is probably going to be hyper aware + do what ever it takes to stay relevant in the dating pool.
What type of men are we trying to attract?
A guy that’s from LA and has learned by osmosis to scrutinize? Or are you in a smaller city or hell even in a rural area where your man doesn’t really care either way or even gets a little mad that you “ messed up the Mona Lisa” when you sneak away for Botox because he likes you just the way you are? (I suppose this sort of guy could also be in LA.)
Who are we trying to impress I think is a big question + why are we trying to impress them?
Do we even like the people we’re trying to impress?
Do we like who we are becoming when we are trying to impress them?
I think really knowing who we are as individuals outside of all of this can be so valuable.
There’s also the social capital that you mentioned of staying relevant in the city you’re living in-or even on socials. I work with so many women across the globe and by far my girls from LA have the hardest time with self scrutiny and disordered ways of viewing themselves because of the pressure they live in—something I do not envy having beaten eating disorders in my past.
I think it’s important to “know thy self” + step out of the bubble + figure out what’s true for us as an individual all other opinions aside. Such a good topic!