On October 22, 2026, we celebrated my grandmother Ida’s 100th birthday. One hundred years. An entire century of being alive.
She’s in a wheelchair these days after an unfortunate accident, but mentally she’s as sharp as ever. Part Joan Rivers, part Betty White, and absolutely no shortage of opinions.
In the past few months leading up to her 100th, I started texting Ida questions about life, love, marriage, kids, and regrets, giving her time to think before we sat down together.
Remarkably, she’s experienced virtually no mental decline. Still sharp as a whip, she has a century of life experience and the clarity to reflect on it.
Has she figured out this whole life thing? Cracked the code? Could she please share her findings? Is the answer really 42? (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference, for those wondering.)
I’m trying very hard not to turn this into one of those Instagram carousels of old ladies holding up signs with life advice. Ida thinks those are hilarious. I find them a little Hallmark-card lame.
I wanted to come up with something a little more interesting than the usual life-advice clichés. Although, to be fair, some clichés are clichés for a reason. They’re true.
I also showed Grandma Ida the AI Grannies that Cheryl Wischhover recently wrote about. She found them amusing and actually thought some of the advice was pretty good.
Then I explained that these weren’t real women dispensing a century of wisdom. They were AI-generated characters being used to sell things. Just like all the middle aged women that don’t exist.
Ida was appalled.
Welcome to almost 2027, Grandma.
We’ve never had more advice. More experts. More choices. More people telling us how to live, who to marry, how to raise our children, how to age, how to spend our money, and how to find happiness. And it’s never been harder to navigate.
Are we any happier? I don’t think so. If anything, we’re more frustrated, with 400 experts telling us how to optimize every minute of our lives while social media bombards us with edited images and fake perfection. What used to be highlight reels are now entirely fictional.
Depression rates are the highest they’ve been in the last decade. And one thing I can tell you about Ida is that, despite being in a wheelchair and having lived through a century of life’s ups and downs, she is genuinely happy. Not in some forced, positive-thinking, inspirational-quote kind of way. She just has an incredible attitude toward life. She’s always smiling, always laughing, and still finds joy in the little things.
When I asked what she misses most about getting around on her own, she said, “browsing the Target beauty aisle.” Clearly, we’re related.
I’ve watched every Blue Zones documentary, read the longevity books, and followed the latest science on nutrition, peptides, cold plunges, and whatever else we’re supposed to be doing to live forever to be happier and healthier.
I’m increasingly convinced we’re overcomplicating the whole thing.
My grandmother belongs to what’s known as the Greatest Generation. They grew up during the Great Depression and lived through World War II. They valued frugality, hard work, personal responsibility, and getting on with things without making a production out of everything. That pretty much sums her up.
She does have some surprisingly progressive opinions about feminism, divorce, and beauty. Her nutrition and diet hacks are questionable at best.
Born and raised in Brooklyn in 1926 to Eastern European immigrants, she’s witnessed an extraordinary amount of history. The Holocaust, the Cold War, the moon landing, television, the internet, smartphones, social media, and now artificial intelligence.
As a kid, I remember seeing Holocaust survivors among her friends, their arms tattooed with numbers. History wasn’t something I just read about. It was sitting in my grandmother’s living room.
She’s kept up with the modern world as best she can. Our visits now include tutorials on Uber, Amazon, Instagram, and most recently, Substack.
So rather than take life advice from another coach with a ring light and a course, I thought I’d ask someone who’s actually been alive for 100 years.
There’s no greater teacher than time, experience, and a little bit of yenta in you that makes you want to share everything you’ve learned. Whether anyone asked or not.
Take Pride in Your Appearance. Even If Nobody’s Looking
My grandmother has always believed that looking good is part of feeling good. And at 100, she hasn’t changed her mind.
Even though she rarely leaves the house anymore, she still does her hair and makeup every morning. Some days, the only people she sees are her full-time nurses.
She says you should look in the mirror and like what you see. Putting on a new outfit, doing her hair and makeup, even when she has nowhere to go, keeps her spirits up.
At 100, she’s still getting dressed for herself. Not a bad habit to have.
Needless to say, she was all for my recent facelift. I visited her after my fresh lip lift with Dr. Murphy and she proclaimed “they look great! Do you think I can get it done?” More details on that lip lift coming soon.
In fact, when I was 20 and attending Cornell University, she encouraged me to get a rhinoplasty. My first foray into plastic surgery. It was her idea actually. So if anyone wants to know where I got my attitude toward plastic surgery, we can trace it back at least two generations.
At 100, she’s still interested in trying new skincare products. I bring her new things to try every visit. Lately she is loving Dr. Dennis Gross Peel Pads and Dr. Melissa Doft’s anti-aging serum. She says the combo makes her skin glowy. She uses both of them at night.
Many, many years ago, she noticed mineral oil was an ingredient in so many beauty products that she figured she might as well skip the fancy packaging and buy the stuff straight. She’s been using it ever since.
Every morning, she washes her face and pats it dry. She was very specific about the patting. No rubbing. Then she puts a little mineral oil on her hands, pats it onto her face, and runs whatever is left through her hair. This is her morning skincare routine.
That’s it. A 100-year-old woman with a skincare routine that involves both medical-grade exfoliation, a bottle of mineral oil and a specially formulated serum from a plastic surgeon.
A Handsome Man Is Nice. A Good Husband Is Better
My grandmother is 100, not dead. She still appreciates a handsome man, and sees absolutely no reason to pretend otherwise. She is constantly picking TV shows not on the film or script itself, but for the male leads. It’s somewhat hilarious given her age.
When I asked about her first celebrity crush, she couldn’t stop talking about Sidney Poitier.
Her current crush? Shemar Moore whom she watches on television nearly every day. “He could leave his shoes under my bed!” she announces regularly.
I love that at 100, she still has crushes, still notices attractive men, and still gets a kick out of talking about them. There’s no age at which you have to retire that part of yourself, she says. “I like men that dress well and take care of themselves. I think it’s really important.”
“Appreciating a handsome man and choosing a husband are two very different things,” she says.
“A good partner is everything. Someone who truly has your back, especially when life gets hard.”
She has very strong views on marriage and divorce which I will get to soon.
My grandparents met on the beach at Coney Island. She says it was love at first sight. They clicked immediately and went on to spend more than 50 years married. My grandfather passed away over 25 years ago now. My grandmother has had a few boyfriends since.
While my grandfather looked absolutely nothing like Shemar Moore or Sidney Poitier, she still calls him “the greatest guy on earth.”
I did point out that she seems to have something in common with Kim Kardashian (and yes, Grandma knows who Kim Kardashian is). They both seem to have a type. Specifically, handsome Black men.
“Oh my goodness, you’re right!” she said. “Thank goodness your grandfather isn’t alive to figure that out. He’d be jealous!”
Marry a Partner. Otherwise, Dump Him Quick
“If you are going to get married, make sure it’s a real partnership.”
My grandmother really emphasizes the word partnership. She considers marrying my grandfather the best decision she ever made.
“I got lucky. I married the greatest guy.”
They were married for over 50 years, and I remember them exactly as she describes. A team. They genuinely liked each other. Which, after watching enough marriages, I’ve come to realize is not necessarily a given.
She’s also seen plenty of marriages fall apart. All three of her daughters, including my mother and two aunts, have been divorced.
“If you can’t find a good one, don’t get married! Just stay single.” And if you’ve already married the wrong one? Get divorced quick.
She doesn’t believe marriage should be an endurance test. There’s a difference between marrying the wrong person and going through a bad stretch with the right one.
So I asked her a question so many of my friends are wrestling with: Is this just a rough patch? Is this what marriage looks like after 10, 20, 30 years? Or am I genuinely unhappy, and it’s time to leave? How do you know the difference?
She didn’t hesitate with her answer. Not even for a second.
“When you’re sad, when things go bad, is your partner always there for you? Like, really there for you? Are you really going through it together? That’s how you know. Marriage isn’t always a bowl of cherries, but your mate should always have your back.”
I thought that was a pretty damn good answer.
Surely there were times you wanted to kill your husband, right, Ida? Maybe even a few bad years?
Her answer was surprisingly calm, and interestingly, she went straight to something I hadn’t even asked about: how people change.
“Of course you change as you get older. He changes as he gets older too. But in a good marriage, it’s a team. Nobody wants a lifetime of accommodating one person. Also remember that nobody’s perfect. We are only human. But the good times should far outnumber the bad.”
I made my grandma Ida watch Nobody Wants This, specifically the scene in this season’s third episode where another Jewish yenta, Bina, offers a rather different take on marriage: “Happiness is a luxury, like your little bikini waxes.” Her broader philosophy? Marriage is suffering.
Ida disagrees. Don’t waste years in the wrong relationship. Life is too short. “You don’t get extra points at the end of this game for suffering through a bad marriage.”
Choose Your Friends Wisely
We’ve all heard this advice a thousand times. Surround yourself with good people. Blah, blah, blah.
There’s that famous saying: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Ida cannot stress this enough. And she considers your spouse the most important person in that group of five.
The people you surround yourself with affect everything: your finances, your mental health, your social life, your happiness. Literally everything.
When you’ve lived 100 years, you’ve had plenty of time to figure out who’s worth keeping around. So I asked her, what makes someone a truly great friend? Who actually deserves one of those coveted five spots?
I’ve noticed something happening among my girlfriends in their 40s and 50s. We’re starting to rethink our friendships. Who do we genuinely enjoy spending time with? Who leaves us feeling better, not worse? And who are we still making plans with simply because we’ve known them for 25 years?
Her answer to my question was so simple. And so spot on.
“Friendship is comfort. You should be able to say absolutely anything to your friend. If you find yourself watching what you say around someone, they’re not really your friend. A good friend gives you a different kind of security than your husband. Even when she doesn’t agree with you, she’s there for you without judgment.”
She paused, then repeated something she clearly wanted me to remember.
“Those people are really hard to find. So choose wisely. Fill your friendship cabinet with only those people.” And then, almost as an afterthought: “Sometimes they’re even better than a great husband.”
Having Children Is Optional. Grandma Approves
“It’s so wonderful that women now have the option to not have kids. In my day, you had to get married and have children. I think it’s wonderful that women can now choose to get married or not, or choose to have children or not.”
I don’t have children myself. I never wanted them. I froze embryos (not eggs) in my early 30s and had them destroyed in my early 40s. I don’t regret it. I’m not secretly mourning the children I never had. I simply never wanted to be a mother but kept the option open if i changed my mind.
I never felt any pressure from my family to become a mother. Looking back, I wonder how much of that came from having a mother and grandmother who genuinely believed that having children was a choice, not an obligation.
And then she casually dropped this little bombshell, “If not having children had been an option in my day, I don’t know if I would have had them. I think having kids is a bit overrated. But then I wouldn’t have my wonderful granddaughter, so I’m not sure.”
Stop Worrying So Much About Your Kids. Seriously
My grandmother’s biggest regret? Not traveling more with my grandfather. She wishes she’d spent less time worrying about her three daughters and more time seeing the world with the man she loved.
“I eventually realized that your kids are going to do whatever the hell they want anyway,” Ida proclaims.
And she regrets all that worrying. Not just for the missed travel and experiences, but for the years of unnecessary stress.
Your kids are going to make questionable decisions whether you’re sitting at home worrying about them or drinking a Negroni in Italy.
Forget the Supplements. Grandma Ate Salami
Importantly, let’s get to her diet.
While the rest of us are busy tracking protein, monitoring glucose, swallowing supplements, and following the latest longevity advice from people on Instagram. My grandmother’s diet has been pretty steady: Salami. Pasta. Meatballs. Wine. Beer.
Not exactly a Blue Zones meal plan. And yet, she’s made it to 100 with virtually no major health problems throughout her life.
Ida credits her longevity less to what she ate and more to how she lived. Specifically, staying active, both physically and mentally.
She and my grandfather played tennis several times a week until his passing. He worked in the Brooklyn Navy Yards and exposure to asbestos was common during the 1940s. Otherwise, I believe he would have lived much longer. They were both incredibly social and loved games. Backgammon, canasta, bridge, mahjong. There was always a game happening around the dining table.
My armchair expert conclusion is that while diet matters, of course, I have to say that genetics, staying active, and having a social life might deserve as much attention as what’s on your plate.
Her version of wellness involved tennis, friends, cards, and a glass of wine. Her bar was always stocked, and the first thing she did when someone came over was offer them a cocktail and a meat plate. Even now when I visit, she offers me a glass of wine with dinner.
Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Ida?
Education Is Everything. And She Wishes She’d Had More of It
“I wish I lived in a time where I could have gotten higher education. Education is everything. A good education opens the door to opportunities, and less education keeps doors closed. It’s that simple.”
“For my generation, the path was already laid out. Get married. Have children. Take care of the family. I think if I had access to higher education, I might have thought differently about a lot of things.”
We spend so much time debating whether women should prioritize careers, marriage, or children. Ida has a different take.
“Women should prioritize themselves above all else. It’s better to make a decision standing in front of as many open doors as possible.”
Save, Invest, and Don’t Fall for Lifestyle Creep
“The smartest thing I ever did with my money was invest it, leave it alone, and watch it grow.”
I remember my grandparents saving pennies in coffee cans. Actual pennies. Actual coffee cans. They turned pennies into millions.
My grandmother has lived in the same two-bedroom condo for over 50 years. Even as her investments grew, her lifestyle never did. Whenever I suggest upgrading something, she says, “Why? The one I have isn’t broken.”
Which brings me to lifestyle creep. You earn more, you spend more. Nicer cars, bigger houses, business class flights. Yesterday’s luxuries become today’s necessities. And somehow, despite making more money, you never feel any wealthier.
Ida avoided that trap. She could afford more but was perfectly happy with what she had. Something that now takes serious discipline when five minutes on Instagram can convince you that you need 85 things you didn’t know existed.
Her advice?
“Who cares what other people do? Be frugal, but don’t be cheap. Nobody likes a cheap person. Be generous with your friends. They’re an investment. You won’t get better friends because you have a better car. Don’t waste money on nonsense. Put your money in the stock market and watch it grow.”
And for those of us in our late 40s and 50s, it’s not too late to take her advice. Fifty isn’t necessarily the time to blow your nest egg moving to Paris with a 30-year-old. You may have decades ahead of you.
Think 50 is too late to build wealth?
Invest $25,000 annually for 20 years, and you’ve contributed $500,000. Assuming annualized returns of 5% to 10%, that could grow to roughly $827,000 to $1.43 million, starting from zero and investing at the end of each year.
And considering how fabulous women in their 60s and 70s are looking these days, thank goodness for facelifts, you might want that extra $1.4 million.
In my next Want to Blow Up Your Life? installment, I’m tackling where the hell all your money goes and how to get a handle on your spending.
Subscribe to my substack for $8 a month. Or pay a 38-year-old wealth coach $500 for a downloadable workbook and a bonus module on manifesting abundance.
Personally, I’d put the $500 in an index fund.
The Greatest Invention of Her Lifetime? Television
Last but not least, I asked my grandmother what she considers the most important invention of the past 100 years. Antibiotics. Computers. The internet. Air travel. Smartphones. Modern medicine.
Her answer? Television.
Why? “It makes me happy to sit in my living room and watch handsome men solve crimes.”
My grandmother LOVES crime shows. Apparently, the female obsession with murder mysteries and hot detectives spans generations.
And at 100, she’s still hoping Shemar Moore will leave his shoes under her bed.
Have a question for Grandma Ida? Leave it in the comments. I’ll text her and report back with an answer.
Where in Italy are we meeting for Negroni's?
I loved reading about your wonderful grandma. Both my grandparents have been gone over 20 years and it made me miss them and wish I’d asked more of these questions in my early 20s. That generation were way tougher, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence depression rates were lower - less introspection perhaps. More real hardship (eg her friends surviving concentration camps, that really puts perspective). I think being socially connected surpasses everything. Loved this article. Also your grandma looks fabulous!